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Life is short and hard like a bodybuilding elf.

So save the planet and kill yourself

from yesterday...bored again
As the sun rays splinter into the room we are in I can't help but sense a bittersweet feeling that we have made it through another night. As I stretch my arms I can feel the coarse shaggy fur of our new found friend from last night. I guess this means that we are keeping him.
"What does it look like outside?" My girl asks as her arms stretch out and touch the wall beside her.
"I'm not sure, but I do need to fix that oil leak on the car before it gets any worse."
"What will we name him?" as she pets the dogs chest.
"I don't know, how about roadkill?"
"Thats a horrible name!"
"K, why don't you name him then?"
"I think that we should call him...Bishop"
"Thats an odd name for a dog."
"I think it makes him sound noble and important." She bites back
"Well I think your noble steed needs to work on his nobility" pointing to the dog who is biting at his haunches.
"Hmmphh! Come on Bishop, were going outside."
At least having the dog around, or well Bishop as I should call him, seems to make this reality a little less bleak. Ever since the bomb strikes and the E.M.P.s going off this world just doesnt seem like home to me anymore. I am sure that she feels the same way.
Walking over to the car and popping the hood I can notice the oil that has been burning around the seals. This should be an easy fix and then we can get out of here and around that cursed city.
*barking off in the distance*
"Its one of them!" I hear screaming around the other side of the building. Turning around I realize that I left the Mossberg inside, no time for that now. I run to the other side and there it is.
"Now that doesn't look pretty." I say while looking at this lifeless person...at least it was a person...or a really ugly ape.
"I've never seen one this close before. What do you think made them this way?"
"I'm not sure, but it looks like something killed it. I wonder what happened to its eyes." The eyes of this person type thing seem to have had the flesh grown over them in a very dark bruising color. "I wonder if they are all like this. Maybe they can't see and thats why they only come out at night. At least then we can't see them either so they have more of a chance." At this moment I have an epiphany. "If they only come out at night then that means that we may be able to go into the city and find food and water. Hell we might be able to find some gas."
"I don't know if I like that idea."
"Well what other choices do we have? I could grill some more Spam on the egine of the car for us tonight...oh no wait, we don't have any...maybe we could eat Bishop."
"Fine, your such an ass. We'll look in the city but I still don't like the idea."

It takes me only about another 30 minutes to fix the oil leak around the cylinder heads. As I am wrapping up the engine repairs I notice someone else has been busy too.
"He wanted to help!" She exclaims happily pointing to Bishop who has been fitted with a back pack. "He can carry things for us see."
"Well it looks like this dog might be good for something after all." Bishop seems to be taking this quite well as his tail is wagging from left to right in a frisky manner.
"Ok, lets get ready to do this." I start grabbing up what little supplies are left in our ramshackled building.
"Come on Bishop, you can ride in the front with me." Bishop gadly jumps into her lap and pokes his head out of the window.
"Well, its now or never." said with what could only be translated as a brief moment of oh fuck this was a bad idea...
The car starts up just fine and off we go to the city where we dare not tread just yesterday. This is going to be one hell of a day I think to myself as I pull onto the main road...