Life is short and hard like a bodybuilding elf.

So save the planet and kill yourself


Costume done....
*boom*
future_kill
Dragon Con here I come. I am finally done with this:
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So yeah sorry about the big flash but one can only do so much with a cell phone and a self timer. Courtney sewed the jacket, I did the leather work and another guy built my helmet but I think it came together nicely just in time :)

On another note many of you know that Nathan and I have been working out lately and I must say I think he has been doing steroids because hes come along pretty quickly these past 2 weeks
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from yesterday...bored again
*boom*
future_kill
As the sun rays splinter into the room we are in I can't help but sense a bittersweet feeling that we have made it through another night. As I stretch my arms I can feel the coarse shaggy fur of our new found friend from last night. I guess this means that we are keeping him.
"What does it look like outside?" My girl asks as her arms stretch out and touch the wall beside her.
"I'm not sure, but I do need to fix that oil leak on the car before it gets any worse."
"What will we name him?" as she pets the dogs chest.
"I don't know, how about roadkill?"
"Thats a horrible name!"
"K, why don't you name him then?"
"I think that we should call him...Bishop"
"Thats an odd name for a dog."
"I think it makes him sound noble and important." She bites back
"Well I think your noble steed needs to work on his nobility" pointing to the dog who is biting at his haunches.
"Hmmphh! Come on Bishop, were going outside."
At least having the dog around, or well Bishop as I should call him, seems to make this reality a little less bleak. Ever since the bomb strikes and the E.M.P.s going off this world just doesnt seem like home to me anymore. I am sure that she feels the same way.
Walking over to the car and popping the hood I can notice the oil that has been burning around the seals. This should be an easy fix and then we can get out of here and around that cursed city.
*barking off in the distance*
"Its one of them!" I hear screaming around the other side of the building. Turning around I realize that I left the Mossberg inside, no time for that now. I run to the other side and there it is.
"Now that doesn't look pretty." I say while looking at this lifeless person...at least it was a person...or a really ugly ape.
"I've never seen one this close before. What do you think made them this way?"
"I'm not sure, but it looks like something killed it. I wonder what happened to its eyes." The eyes of this person type thing seem to have had the flesh grown over them in a very dark bruising color. "I wonder if they are all like this. Maybe they can't see and thats why they only come out at night. At least then we can't see them either so they have more of a chance." At this moment I have an epiphany. "If they only come out at night then that means that we may be able to go into the city and find food and water. Hell we might be able to find some gas."
"I don't know if I like that idea."
"Well what other choices do we have? I could grill some more Spam on the egine of the car for us tonight...oh no wait, we don't have any...maybe we could eat Bishop."
"Fine, your such an ass. We'll look in the city but I still don't like the idea."

It takes me only about another 30 minutes to fix the oil leak around the cylinder heads. As I am wrapping up the engine repairs I notice someone else has been busy too.
"He wanted to help!" She exclaims happily pointing to Bishop who has been fitted with a back pack. "He can carry things for us see."
"Well it looks like this dog might be good for something after all." Bishop seems to be taking this quite well as his tail is wagging from left to right in a frisky manner.
"Ok, lets get ready to do this." I start grabbing up what little supplies are left in our ramshackled building.
"Come on Bishop, you can ride in the front with me." Bishop gadly jumps into her lap and pokes his head out of the window.
"Well, its now or never." said with what could only be translated as a brief moment of oh fuck this was a bad idea...
The car starts up just fine and off we go to the city where we dare not tread just yesterday. This is going to be one hell of a day I think to myself as I pull onto the main road...

Bored...
*boom*
future_kill
The rickety sound of the muffler occasionally slapping the asphalt is a calming noise telling me that I am still alive. My girl asleep beside me in the passengers seat. Im still not sure of how she can sleep in the blazing sun while curled up in the splitting leather seat. I suppose that it is better than the crying and the random moments of eerie silence. Im still not sure what has happened to what we used to call home only just 3 years ago. I wonder what happened to everyone else that used to be around.

As my eyes slowly start to loose sight of the horizon I know that it is almost that time again. I need to pull over and find a place to sleep for the night. Off in the distance I can see the city lights. Its an ominous feeling to see that the once great cities are still burning in ruins. I pull the car over to a nearby gas station...no luck...its empty as always. While inside I find some canned meat and some bottles of what I assume used to be water. Its been so long since we have actually had a meal other than scraps we venture across on the sides of the road. Tonight will be different though...tonight we have a feast to be proud of.

I put the canned meat slices on the cylinder heads of the engine while it is still hot from the days drive. The smell of the searing meat awaken my girl.

"Is it night already?" she asks while stretching out and yawning.
"Yes" I say in an uneasy voice
"Have you seen any of them on the way here?" Im sure that she is speaking of the other survivors...well if you want to call them that...they are still alive...at least they appear to be.
"No, not today but I think that they are still in that city." I point over the horizon to what is now an orange flickering light off in the distance.
As we eat our meal of blackened spam I can't help but notice it tastes different.
"Great just fucking great" I mumble in dismay
"What is it?" she asks
"We are burning oil again in the car." The last time this happened they almost got us. "I'll fix it in the morning."
"Do we have time? Is it bad?"
"No I think it should be fine. I dont think that they can smell it from this far away."
As the night goes on I hold her close. I dont hold her close for her protection, I hold her close because I am afraid. I cant let her see that side of me. Im supposed to be the one who knows what is going on.

*crash*

"Get Up!" I yell as I reach for my Mossberg.
"Its one of them isnt it?"
"Shhh...dont say anything I whisper" I hold the butt of the shot gun firmly against my chest as I try to peak around the corner. Glowing yellow eyes stare right into me. Im noticed but this isnt right. As the figure comes closer to me I take a tighter grip onto the gun. I can see the raised hairs on the back of this creature yet still cannot make it out. Its right up on me before I realize...
"Its a dog." I say in a sigh of relief
"Is it hurt?"
"No, but I think that its hungry. It must have smelled the food we had."
"Here" she says handing a pot of water to the now tail wagging dog "I bet your thirsty."

That night we made a new friend and cheated death again as it seems. The agonizing screams of those other survivors seem ti be getting louder. I hope that it is only my imagination and that they arent getting closer.

Cars and Women...Women and Cars
*boom*
future_kill
No...Im not talking about Monster Bash....I missed it this year. If you tell me how cool it was and how I should have been there I will gut you with a can opener.

So on to my recent discovery. Women are like cars from what I realized recently. As I was trying to start the Neon up to tow it up to the new apartment it wouldn't start. I had to jump start it and clean the terminals since it had been awhile since it ran. It wouldn't start....so I start pushing it downhill to hit the car dolly supplies by U-Haul (rickety piece of shit)...hit the car dolly, go up the ramp its looking good...hit the bump that keeps the wheels from sliding out of place and....stop...car comes back down the ramps. After about 20 minutes of sitting in the sun trying to push this car up the ramp by rocking it back and forth a couple of guys ask to help. One of them is huge (bigger than Scottie and about 6'6") so the car goes up easily. Get back to the new apartment and it is time to push it off of the dolly and over the little bump....Im tired so I figure what the hell I'll try to crank it again...it cranks right up and drives off of the dolly. So I figure I'll park it in the shade and take a look at it another day. All of a sudden it dawned on me...the car is a woman! I had been spending a long time away from it and had been neglecting it. Kortny got a new car and hasnt been driving the Neon. I had been spending all of my time and money on another car. One that has had all of the cosmetic surgery and all of the cracks fixed, all of the sagging parts lifted and tucked and it has less mileage on that motor. So all it took was a little love and a little time pulling it down the interstate. The Neon had some to time to cool off and enjoyed the ride. I was going to fix what had been ailing her and in return she let me turn her on.

So old cars sometimes need some body work, some TLC and maybe a joy ride to feel better. They both fear being replaced by the newer, less mileage and sportier figure of the next years model.

Oh yeah...another thing about old cars and older women....Cougars are always hot!


Hellx Yeah Bitches
*boom*
future_kill
So this is a time for first...I had my first plane ride. I must say that riding in small 4 seater plane for a first time was interesting...the sun definatly sucked some ass heading west. I was in the co pilot seat. Our friend Brandon who was flying the plane was a most excellent pilot. The landing was amazing...nothing like it was in the movies that I see from time to time.
The second first is visint here in New Orleans. In a way it reminds me of a much larger much more entertaining version of Beale St from back in my Memphis days...still smells the same though =\
The third first is a amazing drink called the Hand Grenade....fucking amazing shear genius I tell you. Im not sure whats in it but it is apparently the highest alcohol percentaged drink. Also it comes in a handy tall grenade glass or a grenade shot glass. Perfect for simulating drunken ninja/pirate/call of duty scenarios through out the alley ways and streets.
The fouth first is my first post of this year! Hot damn I'm on a role.
McLovin signing out....peace out bitches.

Roommate Needed
*boom*
future_kill
We still need one roommate here at the new house. Im finally done with most of the things that needed to be done to the house. So far it is Kortny and I along with a guy named Armon. Armon is really cool and is pretty quite.
You will have an ethernet jack hooked up in your room with cable. Its the back bedroom of the house. There is parking in the back along with street parking. We are by the new edgewood shoping center right outside of Little 5 Points. You can walk to the train station. Brand new kitchen appliances. Qiuet nieghborhood.

Its $450 a month and then utilities would be split 4 ways (water, electric, gas(only the heater), cable tv and modem). Rent is due by the 1st friday of every month and utilities are due the 3rd friday of every month.

We also have a tool shed and a giant attic for storage.

Holy mother of god what in the fuck?!?
*boom*
future_kill
So its been about 7 months since Ive done an update. So when in the hell did they start doing that change of password shit?

On another note I'm closing on my new house this friday.
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Its about half a mile from Little 5 Points so its real close to 75/85 and I-20 for work. Im working on getting my beast of a Bronco fixed up in time for Monster Bash. That should be fun.

Kortny and I have a show at The Jungle (aka The Chamber) February 10th. Its going to be a medical piercing fetish show for Valentines Day. The theme of the night is Bloody Valentines.

Im going on an educational field trip to the Georgia Aquarium tomorrow. Ive actually been asked to be a chaperon...wow who would have thought that? Its supposed to be a completely different section. One that you cant normally get in so that should be pretty fucking cool.

Oh well lets see how all of this goes.....

Why did I come back?
*boom*
future_kill
Well we just got back from our "vacation". In the past week I have put 2,000 miles on my car. First off we went and did a show in Spartanburg, SC and then stayed with our friend Melody. Then its down to my parents house in bumfuck nowhere. We spent a lot of that time sleeping for two days. Kortny finally got to meet my family and all is well because they didnt burn her at the stake. After that we headed down to Miami but wait.....before we get there....
As I was passing through some fucking podunk town called homestead (35 miles from the Okeefenokee Swamp) I got pulled over. Yeah I was speeding 75 in a 55 but anyways 2 more cop cars show up and now there is a total of 4 cops...all of this for speeding?!? Oh no come to find out my liscense was suspended? What in the hell for? Social Security Verification! If that isnt the biggest load of shit....the cop couldnt even tell me what the hell that meant. He had to call back up and still didnt know...anyways he tells me that Kortny will have to drive the 7 hours to Miami and the 11 hours back...and took my liscense. I told him that would be impossible for her to do that and the fact that he took my ID and how in the hell am I supposed to check into the hotel, drink, use my credit card or even prove who the hell I am...So we go to the city hall there....get this it is in a trailer park and it is a double wide...oh dear god. Now he tells me we have to drive 35 miles the opposite way to get me another liscense and they are about to close. FUCK!!! So we get there and I have no ID, no proof of address and no social security verification...but that doenst matter I tell the guy I need a new liscense and that I moved. So I got a new liscense without anything. Just a photocopy of my old one...I asked the guy about the verification and he said that he had just done it. What in the fucking hell?!? Is it that goddamned easy to steal somebody's identity?
Well down to South Beach where we hit up the bars, our stylish little hotel room, local industrial club and of course the clearest ocean waters.

Damn....its been a while
*boom*
future_kill
Well last night after work I finally did my first suspension. Every time I had tried to do it before something happened (show cancelled, not enough hooks, etc.). Some people said that was a bad sign....eh fuck bad signs. After I got the hooks in one of them felt really strange and it wouldnt stop bleeding. Oh well...it started to get colder and darker and by this time I was freezing my ass off. As we were rigging me up the one hook kept pulling too tight and wouldnt move too well. There was too much skin in it and it kept pinching it...well I had to do it...so I did. It hurt like hell but my feet actually went up in the air finally. I will do this again. It was a rush and next time I am making sure that the hooks are thrown in right. Other than that things are great on the home front. Working like hell but enjoying the times inbetween...fuck Im about to be late to work.

::Mission Acomplished::

About this New Years thing....
*boom*
future_kill
Well...I started feeling different before the new year began. I actually feel much better about myself. I feel as if I am accomplishing goals that I had set for myself.
> I have finally started to gain weight. I weigh about 147 now. Still a 28" inch waist too. Yeah!!! 21 lbs and nothing around the waist!
> I started to go jogging the other day but my knee is still hurting from a few months ago. So I walked halfway and jogged the other half. 30 minutes...not too bad for the first time since....well somewhere in school.
> Ive started going out a lot more over the past couple of months. I actually get out and dance too now. That probably helps to keep me in shape.
> My business is doing much better than before. I now do that and work part time at my other job and I manage to make more than enough to pay all my bills.
> I did have a rather large credit card debt. About $2,800 to one card, $800 and maybe around $660 to another. The larger one is down to $1,997 now! Hell yes! The other two are only down maybe $200-300. Still owe a shit load on my car that is about to die...but oh well hopefully I'll get it fixed soon.
> I live in a nice house with 2 excellent people. Couldnt ask for much there.

Overall I feel better about myself. I now dont have that sense of loss and confusion. I dont feel like a new person, I feel like me.

?

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